Come post weekly and see what others
are reading too just so you can add to your tbr - I always do! For more
information see Sheila at One Persons Journey Through a World of Books and join in!
Books
Completed Last Week:
True Blue by David Baldacci
Hush by Kate White
Love Will Keep Us Together by Anne Dayton and May Vanderbilt
Flaherty's Crossing by Kaylin McFerrin
Secrets of the Playboy's Bride by Leanne Banks
Caught by Harlan Coben
Reading
Now:
Shattered by Karen Robards
How to Tuck in a Superhero by Karen Balducci
Bleeding Violet by Dia Reeves
Next:
The Shadow of Your Smile by Mary Higgins Clark (library)
Prada and Prejudice by Mandy Hubbard (YA Battle of the Books)
More Than Words Volume 6 by Joan Johnston, Robyn Carr, Christina Skye, Rochelle Alers and Maureen Child (Review)
Summary -
My reading mojo is back and I'm so happy. I have barely read since mid-March and I had a great week last week. Some really good books by new authors, like Flaherty's Crossing and then some new books by old standbys like Harlan Coben's Caught. Here's hoping this coming week is just as good!
Mailbox Monday is hosted by Marcia at The Printed
Page. To see this weeks
list of participants go here.
I didn't participate last week - I had a lot going on, so this is my summary for the last two weeks. Lots of great books and I am having a hard time putting these books away and reading the ones next up on my review list.
The Kindle books this week are for the YA Battle of the Books that starts this week. It is hosted at The Shady Glade and I'm excited about being a part of this.
I'm out walking with mom and boys this morning in the local Cystic Fibrosis Great Strides Walk. We've been looking forward to this for weeks so I know we are enjoying ourselves.
Thanks for the great ideas for guest posts - they were very helpful and I will be incorporating them in the future. Now I am excited about having guest posts.
Last week's winner is: Bookie
If you see this before I email later today, please email me with your choice from here and your addy.
So my weekend wondering this week is simple, I'm a little behind on some of my review reading due to a reading slump. The reading slump has passed and I have some time to play catch-up before my next reviews are due. So my question for this weekend is which book would you like to see reviewed? Comment below for a chance to win a selection from my giveaway shelf. Open through April 30 and giveaway limited to US/Canada only.
It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old...or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!
You never know when I might play a wild card on you!
***Special thanks to Audra Jennings of The B&B Media Group for sending me a review copy.***
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Mark Matlock has been working with youth pastors, students, and parents for two decades. He speaks to hundreds of thousands of students around the world each year, and presents biblical truths in ways that motivate people to change. Mark is the vice president of event content at Youth Specialties and the founder of WisdomWorks Ministries and PlanetWisdom. He’s the author of several books including The Wisdom On - series, Living a Life That Matters, Don’t Buy The Lie, Freshman, and Smart Faith. Mark lives in Texas with his wife Jade and their two children.
List Price: $12.99
Paperback: 176 pages
Publisher: Zondervan/Youth Specialties (February 23, 2010)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0310669367
ISBN-13: 978-0310669364
AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:
What Are Real World Parents?
I have a vivid memory of being a teenager and sitting at the dinner table with my family, rolling my eyes and pretending to gag behind my dad's back.
Why?
He was trying to do family devotions with us. But my three younger brothers and I just weren't buying it.
Every four or five months my dad would hear some program on Christian radio about family devotions, and he'd come home with another new idea for making it work with our family. After all, that's what Christian families are supposed to do, right? But it just never worked in our house. It felt completely forced and unnatural.
Still, somehow all four of us Matlock boys ended up in ministry. My youngest brother, Jonathan, helped me start WisdomWorks Ministries, and now we both do pretty much the same kind of youth ministry and youth minister support through Youth Specialties. Our brother Josh is a senior pastor in Southern California, and our brother Jeremy is a missionary in Russia. And still to this day, whenever Dad tries to bring us together for Òfamily devotionsÓ during the holidays, we mock him a little. It's become a kind of tradition because it isn't genuine for who we are as a family.
Now, I'm not saying that having kids who serve in some area of ministry means you're a successful parent. The point I'm making is that all four of my dad's sons grew into men with a real passion and appreciation for God's Word--even though he couldn't get us to sit still and take the reading of the Word seriously during repeated failed attempts at family devotions.
Why? Because we knew he had a real passion and appreciation for God's Word. We saw Dad reading the Bible. We saw him struggle to apply it to his life. We saw both of our parents base their decisions on their understanding of what the Bible teaches.
Ultimately we were convinced of the worldview contained in the pages of Scripture because we saw our parents openly endorsing it, talking about it, learning from it, and living it out day after day, year after year. That was enough for us--despite the failed attempts at family devotions.
That's what this book is about. We're not interested in presenting more artificial techniques and methodology to ÒfixÓ our kids or do what Christian families are Òsupposed to do.Ó Rather we want to help you discover how to live for God in a real way, right in front of your kids, so they can't help but catch the big picture that God and his Word mean the world to us and that living for Jesus really works in the Real World.
Don't get me wrong. Not all families are built to the same specifications. We each have our own family DNA. So if family devotions fit who you are, more power to you! Organized, structured, traditional family devotions are a great tool for some families. Now that my wife, Jade, and I have two kids of our own--our son Dax is in middle school, and our daughter Skye is 10--we've tried to have a family Bible hour around the table. It kind of worked off and on when the kids were younger, but we eventually realized it wasn't a good fit for the natural rhythm of our lives. It's not who we are right now. So instead we've found ways to talk about God's Word that are a better fit for us.
As we work together through the concepts in this book, one thing we'll discover is that Real World Parents are real in the sense that they do what best fits their families, and they genuinely adjust their own lives to fit into God's story.
Is God Happy with My Family?
In the church today, there's some really good teaching on parenting. My wife and I have benefited from writers, conference speakers, and pastors who've opened God's Word and helped us connect with what it means to raise up our children in the way they should go, how to provide godly discipline, and ideas for reinforcing good behavior. But again, that's not what this book is about.
And, honestly, over the years I've been frustrated with some teaching on parenting that's built around making parents feel guilty. These teachers, authors, books, and programs build parenting models based on our common fear that we're going to mess up our kids--or that we've already messed up our kids. That's an easy road that plays on our fears and our guilt over the areas in which we struggle as parents. Then they suggest that their programs or perspectives are our final hope to Òget it rightÓ or, worse, to do it the only way God wants it done.
That's not what this book is about, either. I promise not to use your parenting fears and anxieties against you. And we all have those feelings. I know I have them. If you could spend a little time with my family, you'd quickly see that we have issues, too. Those prone to critiquing parents would have no trouble criticizing my wife and me. So, no, I'm not interested in beating up other parents in order to somehow make them feel better or more motivated in their parenting.
In fact, I'd like to communicate exactly the opposite.
In our Real World Parent seminars, held around the United States, our teachers use a self-diagnostic tool to help attendees identify what they believe God thinks of their families.
It goes something like this:
What do you think God sees when he looks at your family? Do you think God grins or grimaces? (Place an X on the line.)
God Grins God Grimaces
This can be a challenging question if you take it seriously. On one hand, those of us who've grown up in Christian churches understand the idea of God's grace. We understand that our relationship with God isn't based on our performance. God sacrificed his only Son--the Son whom God loves so deeply--to pay for our sins on a cross. And God did this long before we even knew we wanted that gift from God. Thus, we'd always check the box that says God's love is unconditional for those of us in Christ.
Still, we have trouble carrying the idea of God's grace into our parenting. We can talk ourselves into believing that failing our kids is an unforgivable sin, that God could never be pleased with us if we've been guilty of sloppy or harsh or inconsistent or selfish or fearful or overprotective or neglectful parenting.
We may wonder how God could ever look at our families and grin. And the problem is that, as parents, we sometimes forget that we're also children--that our God is our Father, and that God is more lovingly inclined to smile at us than we are to smile at our own kids. Our Father loves us, and he forgives our parenting shortcomings and our family failings.
I will say this more than once: Nothing you read in this book will make God the Father love you and your family any more than he does right now, no matter what's going on with your family today.
I made this statement at one of our Real World Parent seminars, and I noticed that one of the women began to cry. She came up to me later and explained how inferior she's felt as a mother in her local church. Her husband isn't a believer, her kids get into trouble, and she just felt like such a failure--like a second-class parent in a church where most of the other parents were both Christians, still married, and raising such ÒniceÓ children.
I tried to assure her that God's grace applies to us as parents, and that in Christ she is forgiven and fully accepted as a beloved daughter (and mom!). The idea that God loved her family right now--in its present condition--was a reality she wasn't living in. She felt she was ÒunderperformingÓ as a parent and couldn't keep up. So she said the idea that she's forgiven, accepted, and loved as a parent gave her immense comfort.
Ernest Hemingway's short story called ÒThe Capital of the WorldÓ begins with an anecdote about a man in Madrid who put an ad in the newspaper to contact his estranged son. The ad read, PACO, MEET ME AT HOTEL MONTANA NOON TUESDAY. ALL IS FORGIVEN. PAPA. The story then describes how at noon on Tuesday, 800 young men arrived at the hotel to make peace with their fathers.
The joke was that there are lots of guys in Spain named Paco. But the other message is that wanting our dads' approval, specifically, is a universal human experience. Taking nothing away from the indispensable role of our mothers, we all long to have our fathers sign off on who we are and what we're doing.
It's what psychologists call Òfather hunger.Ó
As Christians, followers of Jesus, we have that hunger even in our roles as parents, even if we've made mistakes along the way. Our Father has forgiven us. We live in God's grace. God approves of us in Christ. And, yes, God loves us.
I want to make it perfectly clear--again--that you'll find no directives in this book that will make God love you or your family even a little bit more than he already does. God's unconditional love for your family was established long ago. It is full. It cannot grow. Romans 8:1 declares, ÒTherefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.Ó And that includes Christian parents.
I hope you've heard that. But I also hope you aren't satisfied to leave your family where it is today. Because while I'm convinced that God will never love or accept you any more than he does right now, I'm also convinced that God loves you so much that he won't leave you where you are right now, either.
No matter how good or bad you believe your family is, God has plans for you that will unfold in the Real World. God will continue to move your family along in the journey he has in store for you. Which is why this book is designed to help Real World Parents understand that journey--or story--and communicate it to our kids.
ÒHow Will This Book Fix My Kids?Ó
As long as we're talking about things this book isn't, I should mention again that in the following pages you won't find any tips or tricks or techniques to fix your children's bad behavior. (We'd probably sell more copies if that's what we were promising, but we're not.)
In my experience, books full of tips, techniques, and tricks succeed at making readers feel good for a while. They make us feel hopeful. They make us feel as though we're doing something about the problem. But they often fail in the long run because we just can't keep it up. We can't change the personalities of our families to fit the models of the new programs on an ongoing basis.
When my kids came along, though, and I started making my way through all the different kinds of Christian parenting books, I noticed that a lot of them focused on helping me raise well-behaved, well-mannered kids. And while that's an important element, there wasn't much focus on raising kids to have hearts that seek after Christ. Of course we can't force that kind of spiritual openness and connectedness with God onto our kids--but in our Real World homes, we can create environments that promote such growth.
In a sense we become gardeners tending the spiritual development of our kids. God places the spark of life in the seed. We can't control that or how the plant eventually matures. But we can make sure the soil is rich, the ground is generously watered, the weeds are kept at bay, and the opportunity for sunlight is freely available. We can raise our children in environments where having a heart for God is the norm and not the exception.
What we don't want to generate are well-behaved kids who mindlessly follow our directions without ever willfully owning the faith in Jesus that they see in us. In the long run, the goal of parenting isn't for our kids to be known for how well-behaved they are, but for how well they know and respond to God.
Part of our challenge is to communicate to our kids a worldview that supports right actions. It's true that we (and they) will be held accountable for our behavior based on God's instructions to us. But whether or not we obey those instructions has a lot to do with whether or not we really believe God's story--a biblical worldview--and whether or not we walk in God's power.
In that way, our children's behavior is kind of like the tip of an iceberg. From countless illustrations we all know that the part of the iceberg that rises above the waterline is just a fraction of its total size. As such, you could conceivably make all kinds of alterations to the exposed part of the iceberg--in other words, the outward stuff (behaviors)--without significantly altering the iceberg itself.
What we've got to get at--in our own lives and in the lives of our kids--is the 80 percent of the berg that's under the waterline. In our illustration that represents one's worldview. We believe our behavior is ultimately driven by our understanding of the way the world works, of what we believe to be true and false about the universe, of our perception of reality.
And that's what we want to focus on as Real World Parents. How can we communicate God's worldview to our kids? What story are we telling them about the universe, both intentionally and--more importantly--in the way we live with and for God over time?
Before you move on to the next chapter, ask yourself these questions:
1. When you imagine God looking at your family, what do you think God sees? What do you believe God's desire for your family is?
2. When you look at the world your children are living in, do you believe it's better or worse compared to when you were growing up? Why?
3. Which matters more to you--that your children demonstrate good behavior, or that your children understand and believe in a biblical worldview? Why?
4. In your own life, what has mattered more in the long run--your behavior on any given day or your foundational beliefs about God and the world?
First - I would like to thank all of you who read my blog and commented from February 21 - April 1. During that time I was donating $0.05 for each comment left. I tallied up the comments today and came up with 377 comments for a total of $18.85. I'm going to round it out and donate $20. But a huge thanks goes to you for commenting. I feel loved and CF gets another donation to help find a cure. So THANK YOU ALL!
I'll post some pics next week of us at the work - so more pics of my adorable nephew and my sweet boys!
The giveaways end tomorrow so please donate if you can and tweet like mad if you can. I would love to get more donations, but tweets can really help get awareness of this disease out there.
On another note - my son's third grade change drive (3 classes, about 45 students) yielded $76.00! Wow - it's amazing what kids can do!
We have met our goal but each dollar is important, and there are great giveaways too from a very dear-to-me author (he's very talented and a very nice person) and from a well-known and generous publisher. Here's what is up for grabs and this is the last post from me on this!
Choose 5 books from a list of books (these may be ARCs, recent
books
and they may be older books but you can have your choice) (From me) (1
winner - worldwide) You can see my list here
(though it may change - books will be added and some will be given away
with other giveaways - this just gives you an idea of what I have)
Two sets of JP O'Donnell's Gallagher series that is
reviewed highly
here and on Amazon.com - this is a copy of Fatal Gamble and Deadly Codes
for two winners (donated by author J.P. O'Donnell, see his web site here) (2 winners -
US/Canada)
$25 Gift Certificate to Amazon.com (donated by author
J.P.
O'Donnell, see his web site
here) (1 winner - worldwide)
3 sets of 4 books from Hachette Books - includes: The Unnamed by
Joshua Farris, Roses by Leila Meacham, Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter
by Seth Grahame-Smith, and Corked by Kathryn Borel - truly something for
everyone. (US/Canada only - 3 winners)
How can you enter? Giveaway entries will be accepted
through 4/24.
Individual donations would be very welcome. I'm part of my
sister-in-law's team, but have my own donation page here. For
every dollar donated you will get 5 entries into these giveaways, just
let me know that you donated in the comments of this post (or email me -
crystalfulcher@ec.rr.com), you don't
have to say the amount - I can figure that out, and a way to contact you
if your email is not available in your profile and I will enter you.
Blog about this post for an additional giveaway entry.
Tweeting/Face
Book mentions will also get entries - just link up in the comments. 2
entries for each of these, tweeting can be done once per day - just have
@cfulcher in the tweet so I see it and can tally it.
If you know of anyone that will sponsor or match funds or offer
giveaway prizes - I will do all I can to promote them for a donation.
I'm not above using my blog for advertising to help out a child (and
lots of children and adults) :) This is worth 5 entries.
I thoroughly enjoyed Flaherty's Crossing while reading it and I already miss Kate and Drew as characters. This novel was such an exploration of what love is, what it is like to lose a parent and forgiveness. How is this done? Drew and Kate are married but seem to lost track of each other and their marriage, they are both at the breaking point, but after an accident and as time passes the two start to work together and talk together again. But can some secrets that still remain ruin the reigniting love between them.
Kate also has issues with her father in the beginning of the book and he is at death's door. The book goes through what Kate does after his death and how she learns more about her father and herself and how to go on with life.
This book is full of emotion and characters that really come to life. I feel like Kate and Drew are a part of my family now, and that is pretty amazing for a 250 page book. Also I found this book kept surprising me. As soon as I though I had something figured out, it was different than I thought. But it was the relationships that kept me reading above and beyond the plot, even though the plot was wonderful, the relationships were outstanding.
I look forward to reading more of Ms. McFarren's work in the future.
My Rating: 4.5/5.0
About Kaylin McFarren
Linda Yoshida, aka Kaylin McFarren, is a rare bird indeed. Not a
migratory sort, she prefers to hug the West Coast and keep family
within visiting range. Although she has virtually been around the
world, she was born in California, relocated with her family to
Washington, and nested with her husband in Oregon. In addition to
playing an active role in his business endeavors, she has been
involved in all aspects of their three daughters’ lives – taxi duties,
cheerleading coaching, script rehearsals, and relationship counseling,
to name but a few. Now she enjoys spending undisciplined time with
her two young grandsons and hopes to have many more.
Although Kaylin wasn’t born with a pen in hand like so many of her
talented fellow authors, she has been actively involved in both business
and personal writing projects for many years. As the director of a fine
art gallery, she assisted in furthering the careers of numerous visual
artists who under her guidance gained recognition through promotional
opportunities and in national publications. Eager to spread her own
creative wings, she has since steered her energy toward writing novels.
As a result, she has earned more than a dozen literary awards and was a
2008 finalist in the prestigious RWA® Golden Heart contest.
Kaylin is a member of RWA, Rose City Romance Writers, and Willamette
Writers. She received her AA in Literature at Highline Community
College, which originally sparked her passion for writing. In her free
time, she also enjoys giving back to the community through
participation and support of various charitable and educational
organizations in the Pacific Northwest.
You can visit Kaylin online at www.kaylinmcfarren.com.
About Flaherty’s Crossing
From Pacific Northwest’s award-winning author Kaylin McFarren comes a
powerful novel about love, loss, and the power of forgiveness…
Successful yet emotionally stifled artist Kate Flaherty stands at the
deathbed of her estranged father, conflicted by his morphine-induced
confession exposing his part in her mother’s death. While racing home,
Kate’s car mishap leads her to a soul-searching discussion with a lone
diner employee, prompting Kate to confront the true reasons her marriage
hangs in the balance. When her night takes an unexpected turn, however,
she flees for her life, a life desperate for faith that can only be
found through her ability to forgive.
ON A PERSONAL NOTE
Kaylin sat before her computer writing FLAHERTY’S CROSSING as a
source of personal therapy after losing her beloved father to colon
cancer. You might say she was angry at him, at God, at the world in
general. However, after writing this story, she had the opportunity to
really look into her soul and consider the fact that so many other sons
and daughters have had to deal with similar and even worse situations.
Rather than a memoir, her novel evolved into a fictional journey which
brought about the resolution she needed to find. She never expected this
exercise in writing to go to press, touch lives, or win literary
awards. But as a result of her good fortune, she has arranged for
proceeds from the sale of this book to go directly to the Providence
Medical Foundation’s colon cancer research department in her father’s
name. She’s now convinced and proudly shares her belief that good things
can grow out of the worst times in our lives if you just take the time
to open your heart.
Read the Excerpt!
The last grain of sand was
about to drop in her father’s invisible hourglass and there was nothing
Kate Flaherty could do to stop it. The realization launched a shudder up
her spine.
She’d known this day was inevitable. Yet it still came as a shock when
she’d learned only hours ago that his final days had arrived. She should
have come back sooner.
No–it was his fault, not hers. She’d had every right to stay away after
discovering the truth. So why did she feel remorse encroaching on her
anger, his gurgling breaths draining strength from her limbs?
In his curtain-drawn bedroom, she perched on the edge of the mattress, a
few inches away from what had become a mere sketch of a man. The lamp’s
amber glow cast shadows across his features, accentuating how much he’d
deteriorated in just under a month.
Surgery, chemo, radiation therapy. For two years, she’d watched his
heavyset frame shrink with every trip to the hospital, his sixty-three
year old body blast through a time warp. But never ravaged to this
extent. She barely recognized the sheeted man beside her. Mussed strands
of thin, ghost-white hair, matching jagged mustache, and stubbly chin
were all that remained of the father she knew. He was more of a stranger
than ever before.
Slowly, he lifted his eyelids and turned his face. When their gazes met,
a spark of recognition flickered. “You’re here,” he rasped as he
reached for her hand.
She accepted reluctantly. His palm was cold and clammy, his skin sallow
and tissue-thin. She swallowed hard, wanting to pull away, but the child
in her resisted, the part of her that had never stopped longing for his
affection.
“Where’ve you been?” He inhaled a labored breath. “I was waiting for
ya.”
“I…” A lump of guilt formed in her throat, blocking any answer.
“Is the baby ready?”
She stared at him, shocked. His words made no sense. “What, Dad?”
“We gotta go. Don’t wanna hit traffic, Iris.”
Kate’s heart plummeted before she could remind herself of what he’d
done. She slipped her hand away and clenched her fists, her nails biting
into her palms. She tried to reignite the rage she was entitled to, but
he appeared so defenseless, she summoned only the foreboding of
imminent loss.
She leaned toward him. His gaze fixed on the ceiling. All she had to do
was say good-bye, just as she’d done countless times throughout her
youth. It would be a relief– for both of them.
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