Guest Post by J.P. O'Donnell: Your First Line

Today is day 3 of my author spotlight week.  Please join me in welcoming author J.P. O'Donnell for a second day here at My Reading Room.  Today I am posting an essay by him.  Enjoy!

Your First Line:  The “Hook” That Gets Your Novel Off the Bookshelves and Onto the Check-out Counter

JP O’Donnell

Author of FATAL GAMBLE and DEADLY CODES: A GALLAGHER NOVEL

www.jpodonnell.com

Charles Dickens could never have imagined that his first line in A TALE OF TWO CITIES would become a benchmark in the lexicon of literary fiction.  “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times …” It was also the perfect choice of words to make us want to read more.  Authors, particularly those in the genre of mystery fiction, have long since recognized the critical importance of the first line.  Without an attention-grabbing, knock ‘em dead first line, your novel is destined to gather dust on the shelves of the local bookshop, if it ever gets that far.  

If you want to test this theory, simply observe the behavior of browsers at a bookstore.  Unless they are looking for the latest effort by James Patterson, Mary Higgins Clark or any of the other prominent best-selling mystery writers, they walk down the aisles slowly until a title or a book cover attracts their attention.  Then they open the book and read the first line.  If it grabs their interest, they read on; if not, the book is placed back on the shelf in a heartbeat.

Your first line—you have less than ten seconds to sink your hook or else the reader will move on to another option.

What is the essence of a great first line?  First of all, it can’t be bland or trite. Avoid overused references to the elements or time of the year. If you choose to write about the weather, be careful.  You run the risk of inviting comparisons to “It was a dark and stormy night,” (Edward Bulwer-Lytton’s classic first line from his 1830 novel, PAUL CLIFFORD) and your book won’t stand a chance.  Instead, try to incorporate the mood or theme of your story.  Begin to establish the background of the mystery that will unfold in the coming pages.  If the weather is important to your opening scene, you’ll have plenty of time to write about it in the ensuing lines of the first chapter.  

Some of the most successful mystery authors of our time are masters at writing a great first line.   Consider Harlan Coben in GONE FOR GOOD: “Three days before her death, my mother told me—they weren’t her last words but they were pretty close—that my brother was still alive.” Did the narrator think that his brother was dead?   The reader has to wonder why the narrator’s mother kept this secret and never told him about his brother. Certainly, more pages have to be read.  A chilling first line is also found in another Harlan Coben thriller, THE WOODS:  “I see my father with that shovel.”  One has to keep reading to find out the significance of the shovel in his father’s hands.  Is he burying something?  Has he used it as a weapon?   Our interest is piqued; we read on.

Or this from Jesse Kellerman in TROUBLE:  “Jonah Stern heard a scream.  He was walking to Times Square at two-forty five in the morning to buy new shoes.”   Again, the reader asks why this person would be buying shoes at that hour of the morning.  And what caused someone to scream?  A brutal assault or a frightening discovery?  The hook has been sunk; more pages will be turned.  Notice how a brief first line can be immediately tied to a second line to create a continuous compelling thought.  Be creative; let your imagination explore all of the possibilities in garnering the reader’s interest.  But keep in mind that word efficiency is critical in writing a first line.  Don’t be overly descriptive or your line will lose its punch.  In THE MEPHISTO CLUB, Tess Gerritsen begins with, “They looked like the perfect family.”  Short, but to the point.  However, shades of doubt creep into our minds. We wonder what’s wrong with this family; we want to read more about them.

Agatha Christie, the most popular mystery writer of all time, considered THE MOVING FINGER as one of her best novels.  She masterfully draws us into the story with a brilliant opening line:  “I have often recalled the morning when the first of the anonymous letters came.”   The mystery is immediately established!  We ask: More than one anonymous letter? What did the letters say? Who wrote them?   We can’t resist the temptation to keep reading and discover the answers.

Plato said, “The beginning is the most important part of the work.”  A mystery writer, therefore, can’t spend too much time working on a first line. Don’t be surprised if you have to finish the initial draft of your manuscript before the right first line crystallizes in your mind.  Sometimes it takes knowing where your story begins and how it ends in order to come up with the “hook” you need. 

If you have a friend or a fellow writer who can be brutally honest about your writing, ask them to review samples of your first line.  They can tell you if it delivers an impact and stimulates interest.  What you’re looking for is someone to say, “That’s it!  Now I want to read more.” 

         

Thank you so much J.P. O'Donnell for sharing your essay with us.


Want to read more by JP O'Donnell?  Check out his Gallagher series:

Waiting on Wednesday - June 23

"Waiting On" Wednesday is a weekly event, hosted by Jill at Breaking the Spine, that spotlights upcoming releases that we're eagerly anticipating.

I used Nora Roberts' new romantic suspense two weeks ago and now I'm going to feature the fourth book in the Bride Quartet - I can't wait for this one and if I could pre-order for the Kindle now I think I would.

Happily Ever After by Nora Roberts (Book 4 in Bride Quartet)

Release: November 2, 2010

As the public face of Vows wedding planning company, Parker Brown has an uncanny knack for fulfilling every bride's vision. She just can't see where her own life is headed. Mechanic Malcomb Kavanaugh loves figuring out how things work, and Parker is no exception. Both know that moving from minor flirtation to major hook-up is a serious step. Parker's business risks have always paid off, but now she'll have to take the chance of a lifetime with her heart...

So what are you waiting on this week?

Author Interview: J.P. O'Donnell (author of Fatal Gamble and Deadly Codes)

Today is Day 2 of my Author Spotlight week and today the spotlight is on mystery/suspense author, J.P. O'Donnell.  J.P. is the author of two books in the Gallagher series, Fatal Gamble and Deadly Codes.  Both books are excellent and I have reviewed them on my blog.  If you like suspense and great characters I suggest you check these books out. 

I present to you, my interview with author J.P. O'Donnell.

1. Without giving anything away, what is Fatal Gamble about?

Fatal Gamble is a mystery/thriller about a group of doctors that forms a partnership to build a medical office building in a small town in Massachusetts.  Twenty years later, one by one, they are mysteriously murdered.  The widow of one of the slain doctors knows a clue, but she’s afraid to tell the police.  She hires a Boston private investigator, Daniel Cormac Gallagher, Jr., to help track down the murderer.  But as Gallagher begins to unravel the mystery, he finds himself entangled in a web of danger and political intrigue.  As the stakes grow higher, he faces deadly threats to keep him quiet before he reveals the damaging truth.

2. How about Deadly Codes?

Deadly Codes: A Gallagher Novel is also mystery/thriller and is my second book in the Gallagher series. In Deadly Codes, Gallagher is hired to investigate the death of a woman tragically killed in a car bombing in her own driveway.  I was inspired to write it for two reasons: first of all, the response of readers to my first Gallagher book, Fatal Gamble, was very positive, as evidenced by the book’s selection as Editor’s Choice and Reader’s Choice by my publisher, iUniverse.  I received many letters and emails from readers who wanted more of Gallagher.  Secondly, several agents who liked Fatal Gamble told me I had to prove I was a writer by writing a second novel.  Thus, it seemed fitting for me to use Gallagher as the protagonist upon whom to base my next venture into the genre of mystery fiction.

3. Can your Gallagher books be read as stand alone books or do you feel they need to be read as a series?

Although Deadly Codes is the sequel to Fatal Gamble, there is enough back story provided that it can be read as a stand alone book.   Most readers, however, have read Fatal Gamble first.

4. How much research did you do to write your Gallagher novels?

I guess the simple answer is “tons of research.”   I had never ventured into the genre of mystery fiction prior to writing Fatal Gamble.  Here I was writing about a private detective who carries a gun and has it use it on occasion.  The story also has its share of “bad guys” who aren’t timid about using their weapons.  I have never owned or fired a gun, so I had to do research to learn all about them.  I also had to learn about ballistics tests and police procedures.  Gallagher’s travels take him from Boston to New Hampshire, Vermont, Washington, DC and Florida.  Other characters and scenes are based in Las Vegas.  So I had to research these locations, almost as a travel agent, in order to construct scenes that accurately depicted these areas.  Fortunately, the internet is a great source of information to supplement books I obtained from the library.  I also had several excellent technical advisors who offered great insight into weapons and police protocol. Something I learned along the way:  Even though it’s fiction and you think you can just “make it all up,” scenes have to based on accuracy or else the reader quickly becomes distracted from your storyline. 

5. Do you plan your books out or do you just write and see where it takes you?

Before I start writing I have a general idea of the plot and basic story.  I know where I want the story to begin and how it should end.  For both Fatal Gamble and Deadly Codes, I wrote the first chapters and then the last chapters.  Then I just “connected the dots” and let the story develop so I could reach the end point.  Along the way, my characters came to life, and I let my imagination take over to develop their personalities and idiosyncrasies.  It was so much fun that I couldn’t wait to get to my computer every night to see what would happen!

6. On your website it says you have always enjoyed writing, but most of it was confined to your professional career as a pediatric dentist.  How did you make the jump from writing scientific papers to fictional mysteries?

I have done a lot of writing in my professional career as a pediatric dentist and as a faculty member at Tufts University.  Most of this writing included articles in dental journals on subjects such as pediatric oral pathology, clinical studies on sealants, and the field of special needs dentistry.  I wrote an article on the management of pediatric dental trauma in a Special Issue of the Journal of the Massachusetts Dental Society, and the International College of Dentists recognized that journal with the Golden Pen award.  It was so satisfying to have someone say I was a good writer.  This award inspired me to keep writing and eventually venture into a new genre—mystery fiction.

7. Are you still involved in your pediatric dentistry career and teaching?

Yes, I practice pediatric dentistry on a part-time basis and continue to be a faculty member (Associate Clinical Professor) at Tufts University School of Dental Medicine.  I love writing, but I also thoroughly enjoy taking care of children in my practice and teaching other dentists how to do clinical procedures for their pediatric patients.  I guess I’m fortunate to be able to blend two such different careers into a busy schedule and have so much fun doing it.

8. What is your favorite room in the house?

That would have to be my study where I do my writing.  It’s downstairs in our finished basement.  I have it set up with all of my reference books, my computer, scanner and printer.   It’s the only place where I can write, and I spend most of my nights there when I get home from the office.

9. What is your favorite snack food?

That’s easy … ice cream.  I love ice cream and never get tired of it.  Gallagher, by the way, is also an ice-cream lover.   Gee, I wonder how that happened.

10. What is your favorite season?

Summer.  It’s great to be outdoors and play golf.  My wife and I have a second home in Vermont and spend most of our summer weekends there.

11. Do you get time to read?  What are your favorite types of books to read?

Naturally, I love mystery/thrillers.   Some of my favorite authors are Harlan Coben, Tess Gerritsen, and Michael Palmer.  I just finished The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and thought it was a great read.   But the best book I’ve read in recent years is Pillars of the Earth.  Now that is an epic, historical fiction classic!

Crystal:  Interesting, my husband would agree with you - someone suggested Pillars of the Earth to him and he read it in just a few days (he barely slept) and loved it.  Now he wants me to read it. I have it on my Kindle and now with two recommendations I'll have to read it. 

12. How did you react when your first book was published?

It was a thrill to see that manuscript turned into a book with a real cover. On a scale of one to ten, it was easily a twelve.  I celebrated with … what else? … a hot fudge sundae.  In addition to the hard cover and paperback versions, Fatal Gamble and Deadly Codes are also available on Amazon Kindle or as free audiobooks at www.podiobooks.com

Crystal:  There is nothing better than a hot fudge sundae so that is a great way to celebrate! 

13. What are you working on now?  Another Gallagher book?  Anything else?

This past year has been very exciting.  Deadly Codes attracted the interest of an actor and a director in Hollywood who liked the story.  I worked with a screenwriter for four months to complete the adaptation of my novel to a screenplay.  It is now in the hands of a line producer who is calculating the budget for a movie.   Hopefully, Gallagher will find his way to the silver screen.  I’m also beginning the third book in the Gallagher series.  In this book, Kate vanishes and Gallagher discovers a dark secret from her past.  Stay tuned.

For more information about JP O’Donnell and his books, please visit www.jpodonnell.com 

Thank you J.P. O'Donnell for allowing me to interview you and I eagerly await seeing Gallagher on the silver screen and wish you all the luck with that!

Please check out his website mentioned above and click on the titles and see my reviews of Fatal Gamble and Deadly Codes.

Tomorrow I will be hosting J.P. O'Donnell again with a guest post.

Summer Reading Challenge 2010

Julie at My Book Retreat is hosting a Summer Reading Challenge and it sounds like an easy and fun challenge so I thought I would join it. 

What do you have to do?  In simple terms - make a list of what you plan on reading this summer, post the list, link up with Mr. Linky and then read.  At the end of the summer, September 21, make a summary post and link up again.  Easy enough.  For more information and go here.  To sign up go here.

I hope to have a productive reading summer and here are the books I hope to read, some are library, some are review and some are actually mine (and others will probably added as review opportunities come up and library books come in):

1. The 9th Judgment by James Patterson and Maxine Paetro
2. The Carrie Diaries by Candace Bushnell
3. Eyes Like Stars by Lisa Matchev
4. I Love This Bar by Carolyn Brown
5. Next Time I'm Gonna Dance by Linda Rettstatt
6. The Passage by Justin Cronin
7. Unspeakable by Laura Griffin
8. The Healers by Thomas Heric
9. Amanda Memories by Joel Gecht
10. Still Missing by Chevy Stevens
11. The Island by Elin Hilderbrand
12. Farm Fatale by Wendy Holden
13. Plan B by Steven Verrier
14. The Red Pyramid by Rick Riodan
15. Inner Circle by Kate Brian
16. Legacy by Kate Brian
17. Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver
18. The Everafter by Amy Huntley
19. Winter Garden by Kristen Hannah
20. Evermore by Alyson Noel
21. Linger by Maggie Stiefvater
22. Perfect Chemistry by Simone Elkeles
23. Hard Eight by Janet Evanovich
24. Shattered by Karen Robards
25. Wings by Aprilynne Pike
26. Birthmarked by Caragh M. O'Brien
27. Frostbite by Richelle Mead
28. It Had To Be You by Cecily von Ziegesar
29. Cum Laude by Cecily von Ziegesar
30. Evernight by Claudia Gray

My ultimate goal will be 50 books, but we'll see how that goes :)

Book Review: The Macgregor's Daughter by Dee Julian

The Macgregor's Daughter by Dee Julian

Publisher: Wild Child Publishing

Publish Date: June 23, 2009

Ebook,  178 pages

My Review:
Romance, daily life, intrigue, pirates, kings, dogs, horses and so much more.  This book has it all and packages it in a thrilling and romantic read.

Moving from the castle to England and back, this is an exciting book.  I loved the development of the characters of Dreya and Lucian and also Edwina who really livens the book up.  I liked the view of everyday life, it worked nicely against the excitement that was building and added to the story very nicely, giving another dimension of what life was like for Dreya.  This book gets you from the very beginning and I was always trying to figure out what would happen next.  Then the events unfolded and I was so caught up I lost track of time (and I was on the treadmill so that's saying something).  The romance has great tension, you can tell these two like each other, but they don't want to.  It has a sensual side to it, but stays on the sweet side which I can appreciate in a romance.  But you can feel the heat between these two and that makes it a great romance.

I haven't read much from this time period, but really liked it for a change from the typical historical romances.  Set towards the end of the American Revolution, but in England and Scotland was very interesting, though that part was mostly a backdrop for the story and setup for the events to come.

The addition of the Scottish brogue was a little difficult to read at first, but don't let that turn you off.  It eventually becomes second nature and I appreciated it because it really helped me discern the different characters better.  It was like hearing their voices in  my head and I enjoyed it.

So when it is all said and done, The Macgregor's Daughter is an excellent historical romance.  Lots of intrigue and excitement are in this one as well as well-developed characters.  It's an enjoyable read from start to finish and I look forward to reading more of Ms. Julian's books in the future.

Rating:  4.75/5.0

About the Book:
In 1776 England, American born Anadreya Macgregor is branded a spy by the arrogant Marquis of Canderlay. Despite her pleas of innocence, he refuses to listen and has her imprisoned. Aided by the Scottish father she never knew, Dreya escapes to Dragon's Breath Castle.

Five years later, the laird is missing and a badly injured Frenchman washes ashore. Dreya is wary of the blind and amnesic man, though something about him is hauntingly familiar. Is he an ally or a ruthless mercenary who stumbled upon her father's smuggling activities?

The stranger's vision and memory gradually return and Dreya discovers her fate and the continued existence of her clan might very well be in his hands. As the web of deception binding them together unravels, both are in danger of losing everything. Including their hearts.

About the Author:
Dee Julian lives in Memphis, TN with her husband, two children, and four dogs. A typical Virgo, she is passionate about everything she does. She is currently working on her second historical romance entitled Promise Me.

Visit Dee Julian's webpage.
See The Macgregor's Daughter trailer.

FTC Information: I received this book from the author for review.  

Purchase The Macgregor's Daughter by Dee Julian here. 


See this post for an interview with the author and information about the giveaway.  Remember if you post a comment on this review post you get extra entries for the giveaway.

 

Author Interview and Giveaway with Dee Julian (The Macgregor's Daughter)

Today starts off my author spotlight week and today the spotlight is on:

Dee Julian, author of The Macgregor's Daughter

Please join me in welcoming Dee Julian to My Reading Room today.  She is the author of The Macgregor's Daughter, which I will review later today. It is a wonderful historical romance (and check out the gorgeous cover).  Dee is also giving away two copies of the ebook of The Macgregor's Daughter, see the end of the interview for details.

How did you find out your book The Macgregor's Daughter was going to be published?

I received an email from the submissions editor of Wild Child Publishing with the word “congratulations” in the subject line. Needless to say, it got my attention.

How did you celebrate when you found out you would be published?

By emailing EVERYONE. Then my husband and I shared a romantic yet unhealthy Italian dinner and a bottle of wine.

Without giving anything away - what is The Macgregor's Daughter about?

The story centers around Dreya… a young American woman of illegitimate birth who has no idea she was born on the wrong side of the blanket until she meets her real father, a Scottish laird. And Lucian…an English nobleman who owes the king a huge debt due to his late father’s fondness for the gaming tables. Settling that debt can only be attained by proving Dreya’s father has committed treason. To do that, Lucian must pretend to be a French corsaire. When his plans run into foul weather and nasty pirates, Lucian ends up adrift in a cold sea, temporarily blinded with few memories of who he really is. Needless to say, when Dreya and Lucian finally discover they’ve shared a brief but disastrous past, fireworks explode between them.

Where did the idea for The Macgregor's Daughter come from?

Purely from my imagination. I had the basic idea, and it just blossomed as I wrote.

Since this is a historical romance, did you love history when you were in school, or is this a recent love?

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I yawned through most history classes. If I had only  known I would grow up to be  an historical romance writer, I would’ve paid more attention. J

What is your favorite historical time period?

Although I like to set my stories between the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, my favorite period would have to be the Victorian Era, which my second historical is set in. Life was just a tad less harsh for women then. 

I have to say that this is one of the first historical romances I have read during this time period and I found it fascinating.  I know very little about this time period in Scotland/England/France, but I obviously know what was going on in the US.  What made you choose this time period?

I needed a strong conflict between hero and heroine, and being on opposite sides of the Revolutionary War fit the storyline perfectly.

How much research did you have to do to write the Scottish accent/brogue into your work?

Not too much, really. I learned most of the Scottish dialect through many years of reading highlander books. To be honest, Crystal, I didn’t think it was necessary for my secondary characters to speak with such a heavy brogue, but my editor felt it would add authenticity to the book. I didn’t know I could negotiate the matter.

Do you plan your books out or do you just write and see where it takes you?

I tried to plot the storyline for both my books, like my wonderfully talented critique partner does, but I got sidetracked with other ideas. Both books started out differently and both ended differently than I’d originally planned. In fact, they’re not even close to the original ideas. Still, I think they’re very good stories, but I’m slightly biased. J

Do you get time to read? What are your favorite types of books to read?

Sadly, I don’t have much time to read anymore, but when I do…I grab a favorite historical from Jill Tattersall. One I’ve read a hundred times or more. Or…I’ll go buy an interesting paranormal. I’d love to write in that genre, but I’m just not that creative.

What is your favorite room in your house?

I’d have to say my bedroom, because I can lock everyone else out.

What is your favorite spot to read in?

My patio in the afternoon.

What is your favorite snack food?

Lightly seasoned popcorn.

What is your favorite season?

No contest. Fall.

Do you have a schedule for writing each day or do you just do it when you can?

I have a schedule, but I rarely stick to it. Life, as they say, gets in the way. So I just make sure I write for a few hours at least five days a week.

Where do you do the majority of your writing?

In the solitude of my bedroom, when everyone else in the house is asleep.

Did you find writing The Macgregor's Daughter to be difficult or did the book just take off with no problems?

A little of both. For instance, I had so much fun getting into the secondary characters’ heads that I usually wrote their scenes in a day or less with little or no changes. On the other hand, Dreya and Lucian were much more complicated characters who were held to a code of honor and ethics. I had to really think through each and every scene. At times I got the dreaded writer’s block, but I eventually figured things out.

Any book signings/conferences/public/blog appearances in the near future?

Not currently, but I’ve never been able to predict the future, so who knows? 

Do you have a new book in the works?

Yes. It’s an historical romance entitled: Promise Me. It’s set in 1866 England. No Scottish dialect. Here’s a short preview:

When a hasty promise to her dying fiancé jeopardizes the future of his illegitimate child, Lady Leah Sheridan vows to make amends for the gentleman’s lack of honor by personally seeing to his son’s financial needs. One year later, the boy’s heartless mother abandons him. As Leah finds herself nearing a disastrous scandal, her fiancé’s older brother returns to England demanding answers she swore never to divulge. Will Leah break her promise and confide in the only man who can keep her safe?

 

Anything else you would like to say?

Yes. I would like to thank you, Crystal, for all you do to help writers promote their books. You and your valuable time are greatly appreciated. And thanks for the interview. It was fun. I look forward to reading your review of The Macgregor’s Daughter.

Thank you so much Dee Julian for taking time out of your busy day to answer my questions!

Giveaway:

Dee Julian is being very gracious and giving away two copies of her novel, The Macgregor's Daughter in ebook format to two commenters.  Giveaway ends 6/28.  Open internationally.  Simply comment to enter.  Extra entries for following (rss, twitter, google friend, email, networked blogs, etc - all information to follow is in my sidebar), tweeting (1 per day) and I'll give 5 extra entries if you comment on the review which will post mid-afternoon.  Comment for each entry please (it makes bookkeeping easier), except for the comment on the review - just comment once and I will add up your entries.

Winner drawing note:  I randomize your entries before picking a random number so it doesn't matter if you are first commenter or last, everyone's chances should be fairly equal.

What are you Reading Monday - June 21

Come post weekly and see what others are reading too just so you can add to your tbr - I always do! For more information see Sheila at One Persons Journey Through a World of Books and join in!

Books Completed Last Week 

• Theodore Boone, Kid Lawyer by John Grisham (library)
• Heart of the Matter by Emily Giffin (library, audiobook)
• Last Track by Sam Hilliard (review)
• Untouchable by Kate Brian
• Confessions by Kate Brian

Reading Now:

• The Little Giant of Aberdeen County by Tiffany Baker (review)
• Dangerous by Diana Palmer (Kindle, review)
• The MacGregor's Daughter by Dee Julian (ebook, review)
• Winter Garden by Kristen Hannah (audiobook) 
• The 9th Judgment by James Patterson & Maxine Paetro (library)

Next:

• I Love This Bar by Carolyn Brown
• The Passage by Justin Cronin

Summary -
Great reading week - I got hooked on the Private series again over the weekend and read books 3&4 in two days.  Now I'm ready to start book 5, but since I actually own that one, it will take a back burner.  I also finished up my latest audiobook and it was a great one.  I did a library book week last week, so it's back to review books this week.  Look for my author interviews, guest posts, and some reviews coming this week for my author spotlight week.